
As a volleyball player I've always taken guilty pleasure in laughing at how much like the porn stars we're not supposed to talk about the names of the players grew up I idolizing are. The sport just oozes sexuality, being cross-gender and displaying generous amounts of flesh in all its forms - indoor, beach and grass. The participants in either form are visually spectacular; any man that doesn't think Liane Sato, Lori Endicott or Liz Masakayan aren't among the most beautiful women alive is a damn fool.
I mean, consider some of the great real names of the world's best competitors: Bryan Ivie? Steve Timmons? Doug Partie? Scott Fortune? Come on now - that's the stuff straight out of a San Fernando Valley script (with apologies to Jeff Nygaard, Tom Sorenson, the gone too soon Uvaldo Acosta and the great players to come out of Hawaii, most volleyball players hail from SoCal anyway, another coincidence with their blue counterparts).
How about capitalizing on the popular trend of exploting a name's alliterative qualities, that which brought fame and fortune to Jenna Jameson, Silvia Saint and Briana Banks? We've got
Pat Powers, Troy Tanner, Sinjin Smith, Allen Allen, Steve Salmons,
Dusty Dvorak,
Misty May and
Karch Kiraly.

How about the tendency for x-rated actors to take a stage persona that's actually got a first name for a last name, a la Ron Jeremy or Tera Patrick? Again we've got
The A Bomb. Hell, the same can be said for racing's Danica Patrick. And what of those whose names are so derivative they'd just have to be made up? Tera Heart and Erik Everhard, meet '88 Olympian Jon Root.
There are also names that are obliquely androgynous, like former Stanford star and current national team member Logan Tom (
a sexpot in her own right). And the Brazilian and Chinese national teams, who go by their last names only, make use of a time-tested gimmick formerly exhibited by performers like Serenity, Dasha, Felicity and the late Savannah.
Shoot, if the console game
"Dead Or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball" can fully take advantage of the titillation factor that's an important part of my beloved sport, I'd say an analysis is warranted. And in either profession, when one's knees, back and arm start to give out, it might be a wise career change to leverage the weight a name carries in another industry.