Lay off the coif

A viewer e-mailed me this weekend, asking (1) if I'd consider wearing my hair different, and (2) when the last time I had a non-Caesar-esque 'do was. (Her words, not mine.) In short, my response was: (1) I can't, and (2) 2000.

The TV industry can be so silly and anally retentive it's downright disgusting. For instance, and in particular, hair. I'm afforded little leeway in how I might be able to wear my waves, currently being relegated to a localized Anderson Cooper. There's not that much room to create, save a few pioneers. Were I to lengthen my locks, the Micronesian genes coursing within me would invariably take over and things would really get out of control.

Sorry to disappoint, but the 'fro doesn't work on the nightly news for us half-white guys.

I'd never be able to get away with what I did in 1998, long before I started at KUAM, when I grew out my hair and dyed it so jet black it damn near looked blue in certain light. I told Julie about my little 18-month follicle experiment…she still doesn't believe me.

I was going for That 90's Look. You know - the disenchanted, unaffected alt-slacker. Let me give you an image: Ethan Hawke in "Reality Bites". Scott Stapp from Creed. Basically, all the male characters in "Underworld". Architecting a modified mullet with amplified bangs. Think Kurt Cobain, but actually groomed.

It was cool for awhile but all things come to an end. The funny thing was that after I grew it out to the point when it was long enough to barely graze my shoulders, I cut it and went Clooney.

Ah, memories. :-)